_{Haul Lie Sprague w/ Re visiOn Eve in/n}

dec 24, 2017

deleting photos from iphoto, and deleting emails from the mac desk top. perhaps mac won't bother me with a subscription to back these items up to the "cloud" or deprive me of using them on my mac computer without a monthly paid subscription.

i found these emails from prior to www.preem0.com

i thought i would make a broad sweep and put them here, then delete from my email storage.

Honey H Hound

utah desert, torrey

andy shaved 'ab muscles' into his belly hair

12/24/2017 2:47 am Sunday : i'm excited ... i'm excited to delete so many old emails, and photos, to look at these things and decide to keep or not, or to understand the time has sufficiently passed. it is freeing and liberating, not to carry this, as an attachment, you know, like when i come home, to my apt, that i have this *thing* to work on.

there is a bit of haste, it is late, and i really wanted to clear the decks. tomorrow, after i sleep, i can build the links for the pages, and upload.

then www.holliesprague.com will be complete, and i can move to finish www.richroat.is

a word about linda simmon, she does hypnotherapy, and the conversation with her for several years was useful, and she did give me complimentary sessions from time to time. for me, what i realized is, i ended this relationship / this association b.c. i knew i was not getting myself back fiscally, financially supported, and as such, i would always be dependent on toying sessions.

i do not want to diminish the value of association, however, when i cannot heal or access something fundamental and it goes unnoticed (no one wants to see me as a value it would seem, what i mean is i look "quaint" & unnecessary / not important as a contributor, in the market place with my x & 0 re use and recycle marks ribbon / kaizen product bag. If I make it means something with my sell fxf t ass (0) w/e L/L (h) D, the market-place still can't place me a t 0ff t h(a) d 0've i.d. : i am a fish out of water. i intuited that me paying linda for her services was "one" "way".

i had to go my own way.

i wrote / spoke with linda for many years after moving to maine. so what is here is the briefest dispatch. briefly, with what is left on my desktop email, i can see I transacted with her since 2007. this period was a lot of figuring me out, and getting a better lay of reading the land, ie it is not what it appears.

i'm kinda ok with shunting it, punting it from my life. i've done it. i've done the work. i've been "carrying" "i/t" around.

it reminds me of journals i purged. i started a journal when i was 12, and a scrapbook. years later, i feel indoctrinated. i don't feel it is me writing when i reflect on my young self writing, it is what is being pored into me to hold via church etc. it is the same sort of recognizance, capitulation. i was figuring myself out, which is hard to do (when you can't sell your self t 0 w/h0 d e/b t (b) 0/n e d e/b t (h) in (e) d 0ff all (t) 0 w/e t (h) rue ~ ve (i)n ~e c r 0 (w/) n e ~ (a) t 0/0 t(h) be (d) h0 L(e)D